Still Not a Blog

May 23

I have been working on a psychedelic-doom-metal-esque drawing for 4 hours.

It feels like I have barely done anything to it.

Throwback Thursday to sometime last fall.

I took an outdoor shower today.  It was pleasant.

Parenting For Dummies

• If you don’t make your children mass produce copies of Keith Haring’s works, they will rot in Hell next to you.
• If you don’t force your children to hand-pick and eat Brussels sprouts  four times a day, they will rot in Hell next to you.
• If you don’t have a monthly viewing of the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex-tape for your children, they will rot in Hell next to you.
• If you don’t make your children play with power tools and sex toys once they turn three, they will rot in Hell next to you.
• If you don’t read the 50 Shades series to your children at bed-time, they will rot in Hell next to you.

You can’t tell, but this miniature dachshund is really fucking fat.

Sometimes I over think.

May 21

I’m getting drunk.

Hip hip hooray!

Anonymous asked: what do you like about san marcos? i have a love/hate relationship with this place

RIVER
PEOPLE
FOOD
BABES
BEER
FOREST
COST OF LIVING

somesaysheise asked: You often mention things you want in a girl, but they seem to be in jest (maybe they're not, oops). Anyway, what is it that you really want in a girl that you date?

I want an intelligent woman who actually enjoys Kafka despite at times feeling like he’s just kind of rambling on about absurdism kind of like I might start rambling on about Kafka then eventually Camus if I don’t stop now. I want a woman who wouldn’t just mind my nerdy moments when I complain about things like only Justice League International was the only group to respond to Doomsday attacking Ohio in the Death of Superman story line, but would shamelessly nerd out too. I want a woman who will make me laugh with her and not just at her. I want a woman who will support me when I can’t support myself because sometimes I wonder why I get out of bed at all when my tea is already cold. I want a woman who will laugh at my stupid jokes like the one I just made. I want a woman who wouldn’t mind cooking me dinner on the days when I just don’t want to do anything at all (i.e. today). I want a woman who would drink with me without turning into my Zelda Sayre. I want a woman who can actually discuss film with me without copping out by making fun of Michael Bay or bringing up Von Trier all the time. I want a woman who enjoys being outside near natural water (in warm climates), and would perhaps one day want to live somewhere with areas like that (preferably Lake Okoboji, Panama City, or San Marcos). Most importantly, I want a woman that—despite being a lot like me—is completely different.

And she better want to have some kids if we decide for a super serious relationship.

Truthful Tuesday

I have a small dent on my forehead where my hairline begins.

I better not go bald.

Anyway, go ahead and ask me any question(s) you want today.  Anon is on and questions will be published.

May 20

I’m eating Cap’n Crunch Berries with peanut butter and honey.

Bring broke is like being a 5-year-old when it comes to meals.